It’s always nice to bring something to the party. In the case of the baby shower I went to two weekends ago, it was asparagus and beets.
My friends, the parents to be, had advertised it as a barbeque, and on my way there I stopped at the farmers’ market where I found my presents — some first-of-the-season asparagus and beets for the grill. Little did I know the veggies would provide not only fodder to make the father fatter (actually he’s pretty fit, and they probably made him thinnier), but also fodder for further fun from the author (more to come below).
The beets at the market, prior to purchase
Some additional products for sale that day. Maybe next time, I’ll get some of these too.
It was a nice day outside – as well as the opening day of the market – and as I was shopping, I ran into a few friends, said hi to a few farmers, and happened to see my dad’s cousin, whose band was providing the entertainment.
After arriving at the bbq bby shwr and saying hi the future mom and dad, I found the final ingredients and tools I needed for the asparagus and beets – olive oil, salt, and a vegetable peeler and knife. The prep work was pretty easy.
Grilled beets and asparagus
1. Use that peeler
2. Slice the beets. And then toss them in a bowl with a little olive oil and salt.
3. Add the beets to the grill. And also add the asparagus, after similarly tossing with olive oil and salt.
It took a while for the grill to heat up – I will say that swapping in a new gas tank for the old one turned out to be an important step in that process – and it was at some point as we were waiting that I remarked, ‘Asparagus and beets, they’ll do a one-two on your 1-2.’ I said it without thinking, which immediately boosted my pun self-esteem. It also reflected the probably higher-than-average number of times I’ve eaten asparagus and beets in my life and then noticed the impacts afterwards. You know, those things they do to your pee and your poop – or in the case of me, to mine. Smell one, see two. For one, a little different whiff. For two, a little brighter boomer. Yes, you know what I’m talking about. Or just now googled something like beet poop color.
If that’s too much, just scroll down to Part two below. I got the idea for some further verse while riding my bike to work this week.
First though, here’s a final look at the veggies from the grill, cooked medium to well-done in places, and presented on green plates.
The beets, after grilling
The asparagus, also after grilling, as you can see
The beets had a nice crunch and the asparagus was good too, though I did cut the charred spots away before putting the spears out. Later on that day, I also confirmed my past understanding of what asparagus and beets and can do. And then this week, I wrote the rest below, proving that asparagus and beets, as veggies, can win in more ways than one (and two).
Asparagus and beets, for the win
If you want to
Do a one-two
On your 1-2,
Asparagus and beets are a go to.
Not sure if my niece likes them, but she’d say they’re a Go Food,
As opposed to soda, that’s a Low Food.
But these two veggies, it’s ‘bout more than the pun ‘tude,
Sniff and see results on parting, for 1 tap those lungs, dude.
And for 2, see that toilet post lunch view,
If the beets done right, there’ll be some extra red fun poo.
Hey potty humor is fun too.
Not like I’m talking ‘bout the runs, ewww.
Want more? Head past a farm where a cow mooed,
In satisfaction for dropping loads that have now stewed.
Aw come on, don’t be a fun prude.
We’re talking digestion and how to enjoy, not shun food.
Last post I mentioned how while running, I’d done GU’d,
It kept me going – that’s what she said, on that sign with a pun lewd.
I bet there’s some clergy that run too,
Do some wear that habit, to hide their nun-do?
But back to two friends, who’d done woo’d,
And knocked around, parts exposed to the sun, nude,
Of the many wishes and bunch of views,
Here’s one more, hoping the baby from day one coos.